Category Archives: Inc. Images

2 Sugars.

It must have been about 15 years ago now, sat in a chemistry class when the teacher asks “How many people have sugar in their tea?”. Most arms raised. “And how many of you have more than 2?” All hands but two remained.

I don’t remember her name, my memory says she’s ginger but I could just be making that up. The teacher approaches her first, water filled beaker in hand and says “You can’t have more than 2 sugars”. Now this wasn’t toned in the same sense as a parent telling their kids that they can’t have more than 2 sugars in their tea, this was toned in a way that made the statement factual. Read more »

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Oooh I’m such a badass.

It’s been a while since I’ve spilled some beans in this place, so have a couple of work emails while I continue with Diablo 3. You may need to open some of the images because I screen-capped them too large. Bite me.

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Fuck a doodle-doo.

By all accounts I should be over-weight, riddled with acne, use online pseudonyms like “ThunderCramp” and “Hunky_Fuckbot18“, hate large crowds of people, loud music, shit at talking to girls and have a speech imped… wait, scratch those last 4. Single… enough already!

The minor point I’m ejaculating at here, is that by some “natural order of things” i.e. Human development… I have remained to be a relatively normal guy. I wanted to put “normal” in italics too… but that really just breaks the flow, almost as much as this following sentence does, fucknuts. Read more »

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It’s not what you think.

Those who know me claim my assumptions are riddled with ill-thought and a lack of perception, but I swear it man… I’ve seen it, I see it, every freakin’ day.

Some years ago I was… I’d like to say, blessed, with a strange anomaly atop my gorgeous head. Although now that I think about it, there’s probably no such thing as a ‘normal anomaly’… weird. Anyway. It shimmers in the moonlight and can be seen for quite some distance, despite its relative scale. The phenomenon first made itself known during my final year of university, it was during these years that my general procedure for maintaining the growth of hair on my head was, to put it quite simply, not bother. I’d let that bad boy hang loose and free until it became too much of a hassle to deal with, at which point the clippers would come out and I’d show it a good time on grade 3.

It was like any other haircut, except when I looked down at the hair that once made people look at me funny. There were two items of mystery within my lower gaze, one were my feet… but they’ve never been on my head so I quickly dismissed that thought of choo-choo. The other… the other, was an abundance of long white hairs.

What the? That isn’t right. Read more »

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This Just In!

Jack Tweed

I’d like to create a little intro piece here, something that sets the tone for the rest of this article. I’d like to talk about how journalists are rarely perceived as being intelligent or passionate about the material they release unto the world. I’d like to mention the notion of media manipulation and outright fabrications that we absorb on a day to day basis just because a journalist makes it so. Hell, I’d love to bang out a few quotes in relation to lazy journalists being hilariously caught out with their lack of data verification. I’d really like to write a whole bunch of shit about journalism in general actually.

Then I remembered that journalists don’t work for the Daily Star. Read more »

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